10. My sermon today is chronologically challenged.
9. Lets just skip the introduction and main points and jump straight to the
conclusion.
8. If my sermon was playing poker, it would be short stacked and ready to
go all in.
7. My sermon today will be long over before someone volunteers to pray
Wednesday night.
6. My sermon is like a Tootsie Roll; short and sweet.
5. My sermon is shorter than the time Ryan, Katie, and Allison spent skiing
on the mountain.
4. If my sermon was a Lord of the Rings character, it would be a
hobbit.
3. Unlike the war in Iraq, my sermon has a quick exit strategy.
2. So just like Pastor Brad says every morning, "I will be short
today."
1. I'll be done before half of Edi Phi actually arrives
