Top 10 Benefits of Sitting on the Second Row

10) Can catch Pastor Barnett's spit and sell it on ebay

9) Are able to trip people as they come down for the altar call

8) Can actually see Pastor Brad

7) Are closer to the parking lot for a quick exit

6) The choir can now admire our impressive physiques

5) Pastor Barnett can hear our "amens" - oh wait, he can't hear what isn't said

4) With the pastors right in front of us, it is now really easy to ask them if it is sin to burn incense to our life sized statue of Mark

3) Much easier to rush the stage

2) Have a better view of Pastor Jeff May's shirt

1) Can snore in church and it won't disturb the deaf section