10) The bribe checks I wrote bounced
9) My parents only get one vote each
8) Shouldn't have worn my nose ring on Wednesday
7) There was a conflict of interest since I am on the board of a LDS church
6) I made my running mate Jesse Ventura
5) Wanted to change the format of Sunday night service by replacing
preaching with arm wrestling contests
4) Did not have much support from the Christian voting block
3) I thought the election was Sunday night so I just did not show up
2) Shouldn't have asked, "so do you have to be saved to be on the
board?"
1) Pastor Barnett did not like my campaign slogan: Read my lips, no more
offerings
